Building Trust: The Personal Journey Rooted in Values and Fostered by Communication
Trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, whether personal or professional. Yet, the path to trust isn't a one-size-fits-all journey—it's deeply personal and intricately tied to individual values. In this blog post, we'll delve into why building trust does not have a single, universal solution, explore how it's directly linked to your personal values, and discuss why healthy communication is the vital pathway to building and nurturing trust.
Trust: A Personal Journey
Trust isn't a destination reached by following a predetermined path; it's a journey unique to each individual. Factors such as past experiences, upbringing, and personal values shape one's ability to trust and be trusted.
Past Experiences: Positive experiences may foster a predisposition to trust, while negative experiences can create barriers and skepticism.
Upbringing and Culture: Cultural norms and familial influences play a significant role in shaping attitudes towards trust. Some may grow up in environments where trust is readily given, while others may come from backgrounds where trust must be earned.
Individual Values: At the core of trust lies a strong alignment with personal values. Individuals are more likely to trust those whose actions and behaviors resonate with their own values and beliefs.
Trust and Values: Inseparable Partners
Trust and values share an inseparable bond—they are two sides of the same coin. Our values have to be seen, understood and met for us to build trust with someone.
Discover Your Personal Values: In order to know what you personally need to build trust, you need to be familiar with your values. Values are the non-negotiable principles we live by. They are unique to each of us and most of us are not aware of our values. One way you can identify a value is to think about what is being “stepped on” for you when you become triggered. For example, if you become triggered when your boss asks you to stay late to finish a project, one of your values might be time, respect, or communication. I walk many of my clients through a values-finding exercise and would be happy to help you do the same.
Healthy Communication: The Pathway to Trust
If the pathway to trust is unique to each of us, then how can we possibly meet others where they are, and be met where we are? Healthy communication serves as the vital pathway to building and nurturing trust within relationships. Once you know your values, it’s time to share them. The only way people will know what we require to build trust is to communicate our needs and values.
Vulnerability and Authenticity: Being vulnerable and authentic in communication cultivates trust by demonstrating honesty and genuine intentions. To state your values and needs is a brave exercise
Clarity and Transparency: Clear and transparent communication builds trust by minimizing misunderstandings and fostering a culture of openness. As Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.”
Active Listening: Building trust is a two-way street. Truly listening to others fosters a sense of validation and respect, laying the groundwork for trust to develop. In the process, you are learning what others need to trust.
The Chicken or the Egg? Trusting First vs. Earned Trust
Is trust earned, or do you need to trust first? This is the age-old question, and the answer is ‘yes’. Many of us feel trust has to be earned, and in some cases that is true, but the reality is, trust may need to be extended in order to build a trusting relationship. It’s a delicate balance of extending and earning trust. According to Stephen Covey, “Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.” If we go into situations and relationships without extending trust and without any hope for what the relationship can be, we will be met in that lower state. People who sense they can be trusted usually demonstrate trustworthy behavior. I recommend the book The Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey to learn more about this topic.
Conclusion:
In our relationships, trust is the golden thread that binds us together. It's a deeply personal journey rooted in individual values, shaped by past experiences, and nurtured by healthy communication. By recognizing the unique nature of trust and prioritizing values-aligned communication, we can create environments where trust thrives, relationships flourish, and bonds deepen. Trust isn't just a destination—it's a continuous journey that requires intention, authenticity, and a commitment to acknowledging our values and the values of others.
If you are looking to sustain your team long-term, let’s set up a discovery call to see if I can help!